So tomorrow starts the craziest week in nearly 2 years! I’m working 5/7 days this week! On top of that I have to keep it a secret I’m pregnant and try to not throw up or be too nauseous!
Had a lovely day at work today. The store was filled with lovely families all getting ready for Christmas. Then came home and had a nap while my lovely husband cooked a roast dinner and a friend played with my boy. I think the reality of the 1st trimester has kicked in!
So lately I haven’t been feeling well. Not ill just queasy and having nervous all the time. Well I found out last night why I’m feeling this way. So apparently I’m pregnant again! I must say I’m handling this a lot better than I did the last time. The first time I found out I was pregnant was something else. Although we weren’t preventing I didn’t expect to fall pregnant so quickly (2 days!). We were pretty dependent on my wages and I wasn’t sure how we were going to cope financially not to mention the fact that these things are supposed to take time! So instead of celebrating and dancing around the house like my husband did, I found myself in the bath tub hyperventilating and continued to be a nervous wreck for the next 2 weeks until I could get my head around it. The only reason I did my pregnancy test the first time was because of a moody colleague and a fluttering sensation in my groin area and ended up being 5 weeks pregnant. This time I did the test for pretty much the same reason, fluttering sensation and constant nausea (something I avoided the 1st time). Apparently I’m 5 weeks again! This time there was no hyperventilating instead just sheer shock at again how quickly I got pregnant and calmness. We’ve been working hard at reducing our debts so I’m hoping something works out for us but we’ll see. So we aren’t going to be telling anyone until Christmas. Going to have to call the doctors on Monday and let them know what’s going on. So I guess today can be summed up with nervous, nauseous, calm, reminiscent and pregnant.
I just wanna cuddle my toddler and savour every minute of the day with him.
Loving my boy but looking forward to the future.
x
So since the last time I wrote I’ve heard rumours that my old school did really well on their OFSTED. I’m in 2 minds about this. I’m happy for the teachers that are still there that they are finally recognised for their hard work but disappointed that my old head has managed to bully her way to this position and with that will almost certainly think that everything she has done so far is justified! Oh well life moves on.
My little one has been quite funny this week. He’s learned how to jump and now seems to think he can jump off anything and everything. I see myself going to A and E more than once with this little one. Nothing really to complain or talk about this week since we’ve just mainly been inside waiting for a chest infection to clear up and waiting for a shipment that’s severely late to arrive.
I guess the only thing that has happened today is the Peaches Geldof and Katie Hopkins debate on This Morning today. Katie Hopkins is vile and I wish that ITV would stop having her on. I was planning on voting with my ratings and not watch it at all but I found myself channel surfing just near the end of the debate. I don’t follow celebrities or celeb mags or anything like that so I was mildly surprised by how intelligent Peaches was and how she owned Hopkins. I don’t know how Holly and Phillip sit there and listen to her outrageous comments so often. Especially Holly being an actively involved mother. She’s such a professional I’m amazed and awed by her and Phillip.
The next couple of weeks are outrageously busy for me. I figured I’d try to get some extra shifts in before December sets in.
Do you ever get the sensation of urgency to do things but not actually know what to do? Well on Sunday I woke up still quite upset from the night before so I decided I’m not going to be a victim anymore and I would face my issues head on. Luckily for me it worked out. I wish I had done this many times before in my life with employers. So what made me do it on Sunday you may ask. Well it was the fact that I was laying in bed Saturday night recalling all of the conversations I had with my former headteacher during my pregnancy. I couldn’t believe that she could get away with threatening me and many other staff members. Thing is I could have called the union in but then I could have kissed my career goodbye as she is good friends with the LEA and in teaching the word of mouth is stronger than anything. I decided right then and there that I wasn’t going to relive being upset with people and not telling them. So why do we do it? Well in my case I’m scared of losing my job. I’m scared of the unknown. I’m happy to face up to issues with friends and family but work life to me is so essential it’s paralyzing.
Right now I have the urgency again but this time I’m not sure what for. I am waiting for a bunch of letters to come through the door that could change my life drastically…. lets just hope they come through.
In the meantime I’ve spent my childs nap time writing this and now I have to go and get him but in my heart I know I should have just washed the floors like I was supposed to.
So I’m sitting here full of a cold watching the X-Factor with my little boy sleeping and hubby out at a party. Feeling really pants to be honest so I thought I’d just write and get some of my thoughts off my chest. Hopefully I have set this up as anonymous and none of my friends can see my thoughts and feelings.
I’ve never blogged before and I have no idea what I’m expecting but I’m just so fed up of the small things that no one can talk about cause it will hurt friends or family’s feelings.
Tonight I’m annoyed cause I tried my best but someone isn’t very good at remembering all the details told or written to them so they think I’m at fault for a big mistake with an order but it’s really their fault and I have proof!
Anyways I just hope this is confidential and no one knows that I’m doing this. I’m sure it won’t all be nasty but I need a place to vent and my poor hubby can’t take it anymore! xx
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